Psychologist Donn Byrne states in this post, “we are twice as likely to be attracted to someone when we agree on six out of 10 issues than we are with someone who we only agree with on three out of 10 issues”. This would get down to what we consider to be an ‘issue’.
Starting from scratch in a relationship, there may be no real major issues that arise in our conversations or opinions, because we are busy finding sameness to build rapport because there is attraction. If one has a difference of opinion on politics or religion, these days we might find this refreshing and not an ‘issue’. Are we going to ask the right questions when it comes to decisions and choices relating to partner choices? How do we build our relationships amongst issues? Are our issues really tied to values? Are our values the real things that matter when it comes to relationships?
The other interesting aspect of this whole topic is the area of Myths about psychology – where this may be in the myth category, but overiding that is the use of the words (‘opposite’ and ‘issue’) which is where NLP helps us to refine the meaning that we derive from words.
In NLP, using the precision model of communication, we get very precise with language. For these statements we would well ask many of these questions: When we talk about the cultural expression: opposites attract – what do we really mean by “opposite”? Opposite on what level? Opposite of what sepcifically? What is attract? Attraction of what to what? Attract or catch attention?
Back in college astronomy class, I sat behind a guy who wore a T-shirt with this on the back: ” The best thing about the opposite sex is Continue reading “Do Opposites Attract?”